this night will be
by lost in my design
Summary: She can't stop thinking about the words on the page. A series of short one-shots. Meant to be set after 9x09, 'Engaged, Part 2.'
1. prologue

_but know, _

_this night will be mine._

-emery, 'dear death, part one'

…

It's quiet in the office. McGee had just left for the evening while Ziva and Tony are still finishing paperwork. Ziva glances at the piece of paper on her desk, the curious title and the strange things written underneath, and then she looks up at him.

"So why are you creating this buckets list?"

"Bucket list, Ziva," he says with a sigh.

"Does it really matter?"

He looks up from his paperwork. "No."

She raises her eyebrows. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

He avoids her by filling out another line of description, then sets his pen down with a thud. "Because, Ziva. I'm dying. You're dying. We're all just racing toward death and we don't even stop to think about what we're going to do while we're still here. We almost got shot today, both of us, and now we're just sitting here and pretending like everything is fine."

She sets her pen down. "And this bucket list gives you some sort of peace of mind?"

"I don't know what it gives me," he answers, and he's surprised at his own truthfulness.

They are both quiet for a long time. When he realizes she's done, he goes back to his paperwork and she continues to stare at the paper, its words long since memorized. Finally she mutters, "So where are you going to start?"

…

A/N: I know it's short, but I'm thinking of expanding. Let me know how you feel. Thanks for reading :].


	2. fifteen

_15. Create a DiNozzo coat of arms._

…

"Fifteen," he says when she comes in the next morning. "That's where I'm starting."

She checks her paper. "A DiNozzo coat of arms?"

"Should be easy enough," he answers. "I've already got a shield drawn."

She smirks. "And how long did that take you?"

"Only an hour," he says evasively.

She laughs, and it rings through the air. "What is going to be on the shield?"

"References to my four favorite movies," he answers. She notices the list he's writing.

"That is far more than four movies," she observes.

"That's the thing," he says, frowning at the paper. "I can't pick just four. I know I want at least one Hitchcock film…and at least one James Bond… but how to pick which?"

"Good luck with that," she says with a smirk.

"Dead petty officer," Gibbs calls as he walks in. "Grab your gear."

…

"It's done," he says after a few days.

It takes her a few moments to orient herself to what he's talking about, but when she does, she laughs. "I want to see it."

He squints at her and holds his paper back. "I never said I was a good artist. Promise not to laugh at my drawing."

"Hmmm," she says. She makes a bit of a show pretending to think it over. "I promise. Now let me see."

He takes one last look at it, then hands it over. "No laughter, you promised."

It is nothing like she expects. There is a television drawn in one corner of the shield, but the other three are completely serious. In one square he's drawn a piano, remarkably similar to the one in her old apartment. In another square he's written the letters NCIS, and in the last square are (mediocre) drawings of each member of the NCIS team. She finds her own face and is impressed with how accurately he has drawn her eyes.

She hands it back to him. "It's beautiful, Tony."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't figure how to represent _From Russia With Love_ and I can't draw birds, so this was the alternative."

She smiles. "How did you draw my eyes so accurately?"

He pretends not to hear her, instead grabbing his bag and heading toward the elevator. Once inside, however, he meets her eyes.

"I've spent the most time looking at them."

And then the doors shut and he leaves.

…

A/N: Everyone who reviewed encouraged me to continue, so I shall. Each chapter will be one item crossed off Tony's list. Most will be fairly short, although some will be a little longer. I hope you enjoy them.


	3. sixteen

_16. Ride a Ferris wheel naked._

…

"So, Tony, what were the circumstances under which you rode a Ferris wheel naked?" asks McGee.

It's been quiet all morning; with no case, they've all been working on paperwork, which is beyond boring. Ziva had just decided she'd had enough when McGee spoke up.

"I'm not sure that's a story that needs retold," says Tony without looking up.

"I don't think you can put that on your bucket list and then not tell us the story," says McGee.

"Not gonna happen, McNosy," answers Tony.

"You were drunk," says Ziva.

"Completely sober, actually."

"It was a dare," guesses McGee.

"I'll tell you the story if you shut up about it," he says finally.

"Please do," Ziva answers.

Tony frowns a bit. "I was sixteen and very stupid."

"I do not find that hard to believe," she says, eyebrows raised.

"Anyway," he says, ignoring her comment, "there was a girl. Real tall, blonde, all legs."

"Is there ever not a girl?" asks McGee.

"She was eighteen and by far the hottest girl in school," Tony continues, his eyes glazing over with reminiscence. "I asked her out to the fair, she said yes."

"I cannot see where riding a Ferris wheel naked comes in," says Ziva.

"I'll get there in a minute, hold on to your pants," Tony snaps.

"Hold on to my pants?" she questions. She looks down, then back up at him. "What kind of an expression is that?"

"A real one," he answers. "Can I get to the story?"

She frowns at him. "Go on."

"Her name was Alyssa. She told me she'd let me go all the way that night."

Ziva rolls her eyes.

"But only if I rode the Ferris wheel naked with her. She said she'd always wanted to do it and needed a partner in crime."

"And you fell for that?" laughs McGee.

Tony glares at him. "I already said I was stupid. Needless to say, I ended up humiliated and it spread through the school like wildfire. And, of course, I didn't get laid. I did, however, get invited to never come back to the county fair again."

Ziva laughs. "I imagine your social life was quiet after that."

"Au contraire, Ziva," he says. "The girls were impressed that I had the balls to go through with it. Terrible circumstances, but it worked out in the end. I'd do it again."

"I am not surprised," she answers.

"Alright, I told an embarrassing story," he says. "Your turn, McGee."

"You know, I'm actually really busy with paperwork," he says, grabbing a pile and pulling it over to him. Ziva follows suit and looks appropriately busy.

Tony shakes his head. "This is not the end of this," he says, shaking a fist melodramatically in the air. "I will not be alone in sharing these stories!"

His team's silence tells him he probably will be, so he sits back down with a scowl.

…

A/N: There aren't really any Tony/Ziva moments here, but I wanted to tell this story. Hope you liked it :]


	4. twenty

_20. Give a motivational half-time speech._

…

He finds that his eyes keep wandering toward her.

She sits in the fourth row, among a host of less interesting people. Her hair is tousled and down and he finds that he would love nothing better than to run his hands through it.

"Tony," says Jimmy as the first bridesmaid begins her trek down the aisle.

"Hmm?" he answers, tearing his eyes away.

"Tony, I'm freaking out," sys Jimmy. He turns just slightly so that his eyes can meet Tony's. "I'm not ready for this."

"'Course you are," answers Tony.

"I'm not," answers Jimmy frantically. The second bridesmaid begins to follow after the first. "I'm not sure I can do this."

Tony frowns, wishing Jimmy had decided to have this breakdown earlier. "You're a great guy. The wedding is just the beginning, and once you actually get to the marriage part…" He raises his eyebrows as Breena enters, beautiful in her dress and grinning from ear to ear. He inclines his head toward her. "_That's_ what you're really waiting for."

Jimmy nods, trying to keep his palms from shaking.

"Don't worry about it, kid," says Tony just as she's nearing the aisle. "You'll make it."

Jimmy smiles briefly at Tony. "Thanks."

Tony simply nods, and Jimmy turns away as Breena takes her place next to him.

"Dearly beloved," says the preacher.

…

Tony takes a slow drink of his champagne, watching Jimmy and Breena make small circles on the dance floor. Attractive couple, he decides. Good looking kids.

"You want to dance?" she asks, appearing from nowhere.

Tony looks discreetly around for Gibbs, and not finding him, stands. "Sure."

He leads her to the floor, takes her hand, and begins following the lead of the other dancers. As it turns out, her dress is backless, and he finds himself staring at the area where her hip meets the fabric of the dress.

"So what were you and Palmer gossiping about before the wedding?" she asks, snapping him out of his reverie.

He blinks, trying to clear his mind. "He was having the typical pre-wedding freakout," he answers. "Got worried, I calmed him down."

She finds the newlyweds across the floor, both their faces glowing and smiling. "Seems to have worked well," she comments.

When they spin, Tony finds them, too, and watches as they kiss. When they pull apart, Jimmy is beaming. "Yeah, I guess."

She smiles. "So that is another you can cross off your list, yes?"

He bites his lip. "How so?"

"Was there not some sort of speech?" she asks.

"A motivational half-time speech," he answers, "but this hardly qualifies."

"A half-time speech is one given to a team that is losing, yes? And the coach inspires them to push through and come back?" She pulls away enough to meet his eyes. "That is more or less what you did for Jimmy."

He becomes momentarily lost, but when he finds himself once more, he clears his throat. "Yeah, I guess it is."

She smiles. "Then that is one more thing to cross off your list."

And then they stop talking so that Tony can focus once more on the small of her back.

…

A/N: I realize that this is a long way away in canon, but decided that these don't necessarily have to be in order, except the first two and the last three or so (but we're a while away from those yet). I also realize this would be on the second page and that Ziva only saw the first, but we're going with Tony telling her most of what was on the second page, kay? (Except 19 and 26, I suppose). That said, review, please.


End file.
